Are Your Enrollment Conversations Too Pleasant?

One of Steve Chandler’s 18 Disciplines for enrolling coaching clients is to “sell the experience, not the concept.” Rather than abstractly describe what you do, actually do it so that the client’s decision is to “continue, not to start.”

Our enrollment conversations are likely the first substantial experience our potential clients have with us. Of course we want them to be positive. But be aware that positive does not mean pleasant.

Positive means moving the client in the direction of their true goals – their heart’s desire. And of course it always means being professional, respectful, compassionate, and service-oriented. But positive in this context generally requires that we raise the client’s tension level – which very often is unpleasant for them. Unpleasant, yet ultimately in service to them.

Early in my coaching career I conducted many enrollment conversations that were pleasant and even filled with energy and enthusiasm. Sometimes that energy and enthusiasm carried the day and the client signed on – but many times they did not. I spent hours wondering why this was the case.

As I’ve learned through extensive study, my own coaches, and trial and error – the enrollment conversation actually must be unpleasant for the client. It is essential to raise the client’s tension level so that they really experience the gap between where they are and where they want to be. The future consequences of their current path must be brought into the present. It is not enough to discover the client’s pain – you actually have to magnify it so that they can really see it – and from there help the client generate the commitment to change it. Without this level of tension – which is not pleasant for the client – the commitment to work with you is usually not there.

Raising this kind of tension is a skill and an art that must be mastered. It is not about a script or merely asking certain questions, although that is part of it. It is not about conducting an interrogation or manipulation – it is a compassionate, consultative diagnosis of the client’s true opportunities and challenges. Most importantly, it requires a willingness to take a stand for your client in the middle of this tension.

The problem for many coaches is that we yearn for the client to like us. That’s our first problem – and actually the root of many of our sales problems. So if we raise the client’s tension level and see them become uncomfortable, we start to feel uncomfortable. We want them to like us, so we diffuse the tension rather than allowing it to magnify. Yet this is exactly the opposite of what needs to occur to help the client step into their bigger vision for themselves.

Not only does this not allow the client to get really clear on their current reality, it also diminishes you as a coach. Deep down, clients do not want a coach who goes easy on them. They want a coach who brings out the best in them, even if they have to experience difficultly in the process.

So for my readers who are coaches and consultants, the biggest issue to master is yourself. How masterfully can you raise the client’s tension level? What goes on inside of you when you start to feel this tension? Do you try to diffuse it and run back to safety, or do you allow it to unfold and hold that tension for the client to see? When you learn how to master this part of the process, you step up into a much greater level of service to your clients. While it may be unpleasant for the client right now, they will thank you for helping them make the breakthrough.